we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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