Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
