where am i from again
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
