Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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