so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
