what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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