i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
