addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
