No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
