Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
