The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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