im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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