his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
