So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
