I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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