So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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