Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
