Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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