Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
