I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
