we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
