I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
