All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
