he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
