its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
