Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
