The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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