P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
