I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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