i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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