You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
