So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
