She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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