Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
