i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
