I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
being pregnant is like rehab
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
