the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
