Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
