By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
