I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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