There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
