i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
