Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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