Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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