Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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