those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
