we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
