i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My vagina is very pro this idea
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