guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
How external is "for external use only"?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
