She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
