So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
